What to Say When Affirmations Don’t Work

Written by Chad Hyams

What to Say When Affirmations Don’t Work

You’ve heard it a hundred times: Say your affirmations. Speak your success. Repeat your truth.

What happens when those affirmations feel like lies?

You stand in the mirror saying, “I am confident” while your gut screams, “No, you’re not.”
You declare, “I am unstoppable,” and all you want to do is pull the covers over your head.

The issue isn’t the concept. It’s the delivery. Affirmations don’t fail because they’re bad — they fail because your brain doesn’t buy what you’re selling.

💥 The Problem with Empty Declarations

When you repeat something you don’t truly believe, your brain triggers resistance, not reinforcement.

Research from the University of Waterloo found that people with low self-esteem actually felt worse after saying positive affirmations like “I am lovable.” Why? Because their minds immediately argued the opposite. It made the gap between who they are and what they’re saying feel even bigger.

🧠 Your Brain Needs a Better Strategy

Here’s the upgrade: Askformations.

Instead of declaring something that feels untrue, ask a powerful question your brain wants to solve:

❌ “I am confident” → ✅ “How can I step into this moment with confidence?”
❌ “I am successful” → ✅ “What action moves me closer to success today?”
❌ “I am healthy” → ✅ “What choice fuels my health right now?”

One shuts you down. The other opens a loop. And your brain is wired to close the loop.

🔁 Why Askformations Work

Ever had that moment where you couldn’t remember an actor’s name — until hours later your brain shouted it out while you were folding laundry? That’s your subconscious closing the loop.

When you ask a powerful question, your mind gets to work solving it — even if you’re not consciously focused on it.

Stanford researcher Albert Bandura found belief grows through action — not empty words.

A study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology showed people who asked themselves questions about future behavior were significantly more likely to follow through than those who made statements.

“Will I work out today?” outperformed “I will work out today.”

📌 Take This Askformation Challenge

Pick one affirmation you currently use (or feel like you should be using).
Flip it into a question that drives action.
Write it down. Say it out loud. Put it where you’ll see it daily — your phone, your mirror, your lock screen.

For example:

“I am disciplined” → “What can I do to create discipline in the next 10 minutes?”
“I am a great parent” → “What can I do to support my kids today?”

Askformations create direction. And direction leads to action. That’s how belief is built — one answered question at a time.